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FRSimage
This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!


Aang and Toph

Hello! I'm Ty, and today I will reviewing
Seven 'Shots by Fruipit!

Seven one-shots for the seven days of Taang week 2013! Each story is based on a prompt, and that prompt will be the title of each chapter. Chapters are completed but will only be added on the correct day. Each story is a unique one-shot not tied to the others. They explore the relationship between Toph and Aang, romantic or otherwise, and are all based on one-word prompts that are the same for each participant.

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1. Writing

  • Spelling/Grammar 9.6 - As always, Fruipit and her editors do an outstanding job making sure all the technical stuff is clear. I spotted 0 spelling mistakes, but I did catch a few sentences that needed commas to connect conjunctions. Compared to the entirety of the writing, the small errors don't add up to much. 
  • General Writing 9.4 - Great vocabulary. Nice usage. In general the writing was mature, and I don't expect anything less from this author. There was a balanced mix of dialogue and description, and everything flowed. 
  • Style 8.9 - The "angsty" romance style is Fruipit's specialty. She really gets inside the characters' emotions and uses vivid descriptions to show how they feel. Out of the seven, all of the one-shots carried the same overall tone, except for Lies, which was ironically more light and comical. (and also my favorite) 

2. Content

  • Creativity 8.8 - The one-shots are based on seven one word prompts, so there's a lot of creativity going on, especially with more redundant prompts. I just thought the stories could separate themselves from each other a little bit more. Even though they address a different plot, they mostly revolve around some root idea of Toph concealing feelings or struggling with inner romantic issues. 
  • Plot/Organization 8.5 - Considering it's a series of one-shots, I can't really give an accurate plot score. The stories aren't serially connected so it's not like plot developments chronological. From the standpoint of individual one-shots, the stories each had solid beginnings, rising actions, and conclusions. Each stands alone as a complete story. 
  • Character Development 9.2 - I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Fruipit is the best at writing Toph's sensitive side. Each one-shot shows Toph in a different light and really brings out her character. As she struggles with her insecurities she grows as a person. Besides Toph, however, the other characters are pretty one-dimensional, even Aang. Also, I would've liked to see a bit more of that classic sarcastic, "in your face" Toph. I know she does have a soft side, but don't forget she's Toph Freaking Bei Fong the self proclaimed "Greatest Earthbender in the World."(and don't forget it) XD 

3. Reading

  • Interest Level 8.6 - Each story presented a new problem to overcome, so that kept me on my toes. I think if there was more light-hearted fun instead of angst I might've been a bit more intrigued, but it was still very gripping. 
  • Reaction 8.6 - I didn't have any standout moments. There was no laughing out loud or rolling on the floor in tears. I think the stories methodically gave me a better appreciation for Toph and helped me see a different side of her. The reaction wasn't really a reaction, more of a gradual revelation. 
  • Believability 8.8 - I'm not going to go into whether or not Zutara is believable or anything like that. I know the point is to write creatively about Toph, so I'll stick to critiquing that. As a whole, the emotional developments were realistic. Toph's complicated past is effectively used to help her grow. All of her actions were true to character except one. When I read this line in Tattoos, I couldn't believe it: "I just... I never want to fight again," Toph whispered.- I'm sorry but this is Toph we're talking about. In this chapter she did explain why she didn't want to fight anymore, but in this instance I just don't think she acts true to character. Toph is perhaps the most talented fighter in the entire Avatar universe. I remember she explained to her parents, "I love fighting. I love being an earth bender," so I just feel uneasy about that line :/ 

Total Score = 8.93

4. My Thoughts

  • I thought to myself, "Hmmm how would I approach a word prompt like this?" *Ty reads the one-shot*: "I never would've thought of that!" 
  • The writing quality and execution was magnificent. Not surprising since Fruipit is one of the most dedicated authors on the Wiki. She really takes pride in her work, and I can tell she simply likes writing for writing's sake. She writes with passion, and as a result her stories always contain deep emotion. 
  • I really want you to try writing about characters other than Toph. Please try! Please! I want to see how you would do. I'm telling you it's really fun to challenge yourself and walk on some new ground. (Toph pun intended) 

5. What stands out?

This description of Toph stood out in my mind: "No longer was she the short, petite twelve-year old. Four years had matured her, in ways even she hadn't anticipated. Almost as tall as Aang, and taller than Katara, Toph had developed into a willowy youth, fierce green eyes peering blindly from behind her raven locks - the only tough physicality she sported. Even her hands and feet were cute, small. She had a peasant's perspective and drive[...]"


6. Advice for Fruipit

You're writing is top-notch so no worries there. I'd just like to see you try your hand at different characters, maybe a serial fanon. I think you have so much talent, and you should totally broaden your scope: that's just my two cents. Either way, I'll be looking out for more of your projects in the future. XD


7. Who should read this?

Any Toph fans who don't know about Fruipit shouldn't be considered Toph fans, but honestly, these one-shots are well-written and a quality read for anyone.


 

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