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This review was conducted by the Fanon Review Squad and reflects our best judgment of writing and fanon authorship quality. Please don't take offense if the review wasn't positive. We always give advice!
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Hey there, Mageddon725 here, reviewing Burning Air by Sokka jr and Henryjh98 on behalf of the Fanon Review Squad.
Taking place twelve years after the death of Avatar Roku, and Sozin's Comet is only days away, it follows the stories of a twelve year-old boy, Kyfu; a Fire Nation spy named Hikaze; Monk Gyatso; and Fire Lord Sozin. Kyfu grew up in Southern Air Temple in the same group of children as Avatar Aang. Though an Airbending prodigy, he has always lived in Aang's shadow. However Monk Gyatso recognized his talents and takes him and Aang under his wing. Then Kyfu is sent to continue training at the Western Air Temple. Unexpectedly, Aang runs away after Kyfu leaves. Little does he realizes how serious the dilemma is, a war is coming, and he is the Air Nomads' last hope. Kyfu holds the fate of the Avatar and the entire Air Nomads race, just in his hands.
This is…an interesting take on the period before A:TLA is set. It contains scenes of life as an Air Nomad, Fire Nation conspiracy, and…the Master State? The idea of the Master State is one of…well…mastery, but only for one element, unlike the Avatar State. It adds a level of originality into an otherwise ‘meh’ fanon.
Scores:
Story – 7.5: The plot just doesn’t…jump, I guess. There’s nothing beyond this ‘Master State’ idea to keep me interested in the story.
Action – 8.8: I will say this: the action is very well described. I only wish there was a little more…
Writing – 7.8: The grammar and sentence structure in this piece isn’t terrible, but it is basic. The writing could use something to spice it up.
Creativity – 8.3: This fanon is set in a time period that has been explored before, and quite honestly, in more interesting ways. Like I said previously, though, the Master State does put a new spin on things.
Believability – 6.5: I don’t feel connected to the interactions of the characters, and there is so much convenience that I wonder if anyone in this world has a conversation just for the luxury of having a conversation.
Character Development – 6.0: I can’t say that I would feel any emotion at all if any one of these characters were to be killed off or betrayed or injured; there is no personality with which to identify them. Only the most basic archetypes are applied, and it makes it hard to connect with them.
Average Score: 7.5
Note: All scores are out of ten.
Advice for the Authors: Your biggest problem: character relatability and personality. I would suggest overhauling your characters and building them into people that we as readers can relate to and connect with. Spicing up the plot in some way couldn’t hurt, either, although that is completely up to interpretation.
Who should read Burning Air? Anyone looking for a pre-A:TLA story featuring Air Nomads should look this one up.