Welcome to the very first second Cabbagie Awards Results show.

From 8 till 14 July, you had the opportunity to come up with the craziest, awesomest, weirdest, and most imaginativest (we have been over this, it is a word) Cabbagie nominations at the The Cabbagie Awards - 2013, and so you have! Mwhoehahahaa, we asked you to do something and you have followed. We have the power, we have all the power in the world!! Shove it, Ozai. Today the wiki, tomorrow the world! ... And I have been alerted that I said that out loud ... so I am just going to carry on like nothing happened.

So... where was I? *flips note cards* Introduction, gloat about world domination, realize you gloated out loud, ignore that fact... AH! "Carry on with the results." Ah yes, the results. Last year, you guys came up with over 200 nominations and we wondered whether or not you had nothing better to do with your time. This year, there are again over 200 nominations, so now we just now that you have nothing better to do with your time. So congratulations, it seems like "spending an insane amount of time on the wiki" is what Avatar Wikians are all about -and we are awesome because of that ^^.

Yes, yes we are. And if someone dares to say otherwise, so help me spirits, I will clobber you with the "Most Patient User Cabbagie" and let Thor take his hammer and shove it up - *notices her note card say to shut up* Right, fine.

So... here were are, totally on time with the result shot. Yes, FireFerret, I am totally singling you out for being the "Impatiently Ferrety Cabbagie" :-p

*Notices card that says "be nice".* Oh for the love of, I'm going to - *card says "you can't destroy the cards* ... HammerOfThor, IT WAS YOU!!! YOU FU- *censoring card flies by* MY CARDS, DIDN'T YOU?!

Fine then *tosses cards away* If people don't want to listen to my lively and well-though out speech: without further ado, I give you this the results of this year Cabbagie Awards ... after I showed what the awards were all truly about. Who cares about fun? Who cares about friendliness? Who cares about community spirits? Who cares about any of that when you have a snazzy Cabbagie Awards user box?!

This user was a winner of a Cabbagie Award in 2012.

Yeah, that's right. No one? The user box is what we all strove for. So to use it, just paste {{CabbagieAward|2013}} onto your profile and your coolness factor will instantly rise through the roof.

However, HammerOfThor wouldn't be him if he wasn't utterly evil -I swear people, there is just nothing I can do to stop his malicious ways. I guess Minnichi's hold on the wiki is spreading quickly *ducks under a flying rock and cracks a smile at the angry Dai Li agent*- and gave some extra cool points to four special users.

The first of these more special than special users is Chakrasandwich, who may take home one of 2013's Craziest Cabbagie Category Creator ... Cabbagie (seriously, HoT, were you high when you came up with that name?) for her nomination of FireFerret for being "the most fabulishious fantabulous fiery ferretantrumy foxy falafely fiesty ficklehorny french fictitious fig." I dare anyone to say that rapidly three ties after each other without twisting their tongue.

The second Craziest Cabbagie Category Creator Cabbagie goes to ...


*adds a guitar*

*and a bass*

*and some vocals*

*starts to jam*

Ooooh yeah! *is stared at*</nowiki>


It goes to SparksFromHades for his nomination of "HammerOfThor for heroically rising up against the ancient tyranny of *coulrophobiacs* (they who fear clowns, though perhaps better described as unelightened Martians). They cannot stop the glorious revolution that lies before them, it's about time we broke the stereotype and fought for our red-nosed brethren. To all clowns: I understand your pain and want to make you happy again, so I will attempt to circumvent the rules by giving all your pet clownfish (Nemo) a nomination because Nemo is awesome."

No further comment will be given about that nomination, though I will stare in disgust at the little sparks from Hades that are nothing compared to my lovely fiery locks. So.. *stares* ... *runs away and hides behind a desk upon spotting a clown*

*In a muffled voice from behind her hiding place*

Both of you may place the following userbox on your profile:

This user won an award for being the Craziest Cabbagie Category Creator in 2012.

You can do this by adding {{CabbagieCrazy|2013}} and press "publish".

So, since we're all about ready to bawl our eyes out due to the horrific abominations that are clowns, on to the "It just gets you right there" Cabbagie for the most poetic nomination, the one that just gets you right there, the one that makes you cry almost as bad as when Mufasa died -and I cried when Mufasa died. Curse you Disney!

Without further ado, the soulful Cabbagie goes to Typhoonmaster for the following haikus:

  • Typhoonmaster nominated Henryjh98 for:
An avid loyal reader
Creative wall posts
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Omashu Rocks for:
Shakira’s lover
Though they’ve never met before
Destinies entwined
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Suzon for:
AKA Nozus
Told us he’s Vietnamese
We miss him dearly
  • Typhoonmaster nominated AvatarRokusGhost for:
Candy crush player
Always invites me to games
I never accept
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Lady Lostris for:
Nobody can tell
Whether or not its true that
Twister with Thailog
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Chakras for:
Constantly talking
Grand Master of the caps lock
Goes hard at math camp
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Fruipit for:
Tries closing her eyes
Feels no underground vibrations
Wishes she was Toph
  • Typhoonmaster nominated ByBray for:
Great Beta Reader
Can’t really make any jokes here
Thanks for your help dude
  • Typhoonmaster nominated FireFerret for:
Shouts weird Asian names
Anime Character dies
Gets emotional
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Sifuhotman90 for:
The Ultimate Bro
How do you make a cop cry?
Kill his family.
  • Typhoonmaster nominated TechFilmer for:
A tad bit awkward
Will probably ask me why
This is his stanza
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Special K for:
Good with strawberries
High in fiber and protein
Also comes in bars
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Katara Fanboy for:
Chip Kelly’s Offense
Will definitely translate
Shit nobody says
  • Typhoonmaster nominated Minnichi for:
Takes in a deep breath
Moves to begin typing words
Gets a glass of juice

Cause really, why would you make one haiku or one poem when you get to spam the crap out of a blog post and not get in trouble for it, even get rewarded for it? With this beautiful

This user won the "It just gets you right there" Cabbagie award in 2013.

userbox, to be added as {{CabbagieSoulful}} Ai ai ai, the Cabbagies really are wolf bat crazy!

Speaking of wolf bat crazy, there is still the matter of the "Oh spirits, I think I just wet myself" Cabbagie, for the award that makes you laugh so bad, you immediately check Amazon for the price of adult diapers (don't ask me how he knows, but HammerOfThor informs me that Tena for Men are very comfortable).

Really ... who wants to finally ask HammerOfThor why and how he knows that Tena for Men is very comfortable?

Anyway, to go back to the "wtf"-award" "Oh spirits, I think I just wet myself" Cabbagie. The winner of this interesting award may put the following userbox on their profile to give themselves a pat on the back, cause spirits know no one else will want to touch you after know why you won:

This user won the "Oh spirits, I think I just wet myself" Cabbagie award in 2013.

This award, to be added as {{CabbagieFunny}}, goes to Henryjh98 for his nomination of Typhoonmaster for "the wettest, stormiest, bestest, Nirvana-squishing, applesauce-sucking, dance-leaking, one-shot writer that has ever protected anyone from a raving mad Ooobzalopticis Bloodsucker". Cause, yes people, it is a funny art to use the words "wettest," "squishiest," "sucking," and "leaking" in a nomination and make it a compliment as opposed to an X-rated adult movie. This dude has skillzzzz (the kind that can only appropriately be emphasized with the right amount of zzzz's).

So, what was not actually the point of creating a separate blog to announce all of this? Why, what else then to give you all the opportunity to post your acceptance speech in the comments?

So find your glasses, read for what exactly you won a Cabbagie, and make the best acceptance comment ever!

These awards have been fun, we thank you all for your participation!

HammerOfThor and Lady Lostris

Cabbagie Awards Winners and Nominations


Honorary winners

  • All contributors
  • All the admins and active editors
  • All the awesome nonies who have become members
  • Avatar Wiki
  • ByBray's dog
  • Cabbage Corporation
  • Creators and all affliated workers of ATLA, LOK, and the comics
  • Everyone
  • Pabu
  • Sparky-o-sparker
  • SparkySparkyBoom
  • Spiderman
  • Squishy, from Monsters University
  • Subscribers of Air
  • The Cabbagie Awards
  • The jerk that loves two floors up from ByBray
  • The minions from Despicable Me

List of all nominations

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