With the Avatar Wiki User Awards just around the corner to celebrate the 8th birthday of the Avatar Wiki, HammerOfThor and I are proud to present the return of the Cabbage Merchant's Completely Irrelevant Category Awards, otherwise known as THE CABBAGIES.
For those who were here to experience this most prestigious of prestigious awards last year, please simmer down for a second while I explain the protocol for those sad ones who have been crying all year because they are missing that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - oh yeah, I went there - Cabbagie Award userbox. So, unlike those ordinary and unimaginative award shows where the categories you can “win” in are already set, The Cabbagies task you to come up with the craziest, awesomest (totally a word), weirdest, and most imaginativest (also a word. Don’t believe me? Don’t look it up, and just believe me anyway. I’ll give you a Cabbagie for it) awards you can think of. Nothing is too crazy for The Cabbagies, and best of all: if you nominate someone, they’re automatically a winner! Yes, yes, thank you. HoT and I are totally aware of how awesome we are for coming up with that. We are going to give ourselves a Cabbagie for that. Why? Because we can! That’s another sweet thing about these awards: you can even nominate yourself.
There is only one exception to the “you can nominate whomever you want” rule: clowns cannot be nominated. They’re creepy and scary and they freak me out, so they can't play along. The only way a clown can get a Cabbagie is when it is violently clobbered with it. To all those clowns out there now crying into an abnormally large handkerchief, HammerOfThor apologises for his co-presenter's strange totally normal fear. I tried to change her mind, but her hair totally flamed up, and burnt my eyebrows off. I took that as my leave.
Everyone who wins a Cabbagie Award will receive a very special userbox to add to their own profile, completely unique other than the fact that nearly everyone else will have one. Plus, the two users who come up with the craziest categories will win the award for:
Craziest Cabbagie Category Creator
Be honest, you want it don't you? The alliteration, it calls to you. Give in to the alliteration.
Now wait, some of you might say, this all seems pretty much like last year. I thought The Cabbagies were supposed to to be superdy-duperdy imaginative. Well, strange person who has somehow invaded this blog post, hold on. Because this year, we are introducing, drum roll please, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, some totally extra new awards. I know right, totally original. These new awards are:
- The "It just gets you right there" award - for the most poetic nomination, the one that just gets you right there, the one that makes you cry almost as bad as when Mufasa died.
- The "Oh god, I think I just wet myself" award - for the award that makes you laugh so bad, you immediately check Amazon for the price of adult diapers (don't ask me how he knows, but HammerOfThor informs me that Tena for Men are very comfortable).
Now the rules. THERE ARE NONE. Other than these of course:
- Come up with your own nominations. Don't steal from someone else. Don't copy from last year. Get those creative juices flowing.
- You can leave as many nominations as you want in one comment, but please try and leave your nomination(s) as a new comment rather than replying to an existing comment. Be kind to those of us who have to keep track of the nominations.
- Keep it civil. This is meant to be fun, so any nominations made in bad taste will not be tolerated, and deleted on sight.
- Leave any arguments with other users at the door. This isn't the place to hash out old feuds, and doing so will not be tolerated.
- Have fun. Don't take things too seriously, and just have a good time. If you don't, Pabu will get you. He's deadly. He’s so fluffy you’re going to die. For real. Pabu’s out to get you.
Time for the serious part. Dim the lights, silence please. With the Cabbagies, we hope to inspire having fun, being silly, and acting stupid to the point where it becomes cool. So sit back, have fun, and come up with the craziest nominations you can. The Cabbagies will be running for the next week, after which we will have a results show, hosted by Lady Lostris and HammerOfThor, where we will have a list of the winners, and everyone will have the chance to write a little something to accept their award to thank their mom, themselves, and the magically floating leprechaun in a teapot behind the moon (we've visited, dude has a lovely collection of ceramics).
So to end, two words from our sponsor; MY CABBAGIES!!!