Issue 3: November 5th, 2014 |
So, we're five episodes into the fourth and final season for The Legend of Korra now. Very recently the creators Mike and Bryan stopped on here and answered some of the questions that their wikia fans submitted, rewarding some of the users, both present and not-so-much, for all their efforts that they put into this site and this community all these years. Although we don't know the exact date of the final episode yet, the show is set to wrap up sometime in December. So will end the "Age of Korra", which reigned from early 2012 to late 2014. Next year will be 2015, which shall mark the tenth year of both Avatar and Avatar Wiki. People are undoubtedly wondering what's next for Avatar Wiki and the fanon portal. What will it look like next year? Well, none of us can know for sure, but what we can do is look at how it's been in the past and what it was like during similar times. As many long-time users like The 888th Avatar will tell you, wiki activity follows a life cycle. It's practically an exact science. For those of you who haven't heard this story yet, here is how it began. Long ago, around the time of the third season of Avatar: The Last Airbender, love of Avatar met love of writing. Together, they conceived something. Was it a boy? Was it a girl? Why, neither. It was an online community. The fanon wiki community grew in size and number following the conclusion of the show it was based on. Nearly a year later, a debate ensued between 888, Thailog and several other older, now mostly inactive users. Following this epic debacle, the fanon community fused with the canon Avatar Wiki, creating something comparable to the Avatar. At least on a good day. On a bad day, it may seem more like something along the lines of Unavaatu. Our young "Avatar" grew up during the lead-up to the theatrical adaptation of the animated series, and we all recall how that turned out. Despite this disappointment in the summer two years following the end of the series and one year following the merger, activity on the wiki did not slow down at this time. In fact, most users who remember then look back to the wiki in the latter half of 2010 and the whole of 2011 with nostalgia, despite almost nothing new being released on the canon side of things. The Legend of Korra was a long way away, and The Promise wasn't released until early 2012 either. But the community remained active during this era of wiki-renaissance, there were regular newsletter issues from the BSST (the WLS hadn't been founded by Master Ratava and Rassilon of Old yet), there were two Fanon Awards ceremonies, the User Awards were created, there were seven fanon admin elections and the entire fanon portal was restructured toward the end of it. However, traffic to this site was still much higher during times when Korra was airing and it would be naive to say that there won't be a drop in activity once the series is over. While Bryke has not confirmed that they will never do another show based on it and they said the universe keeps managing to pull them back in, which gives some of us hope, they said they are taking a break for a while and moving onto other projects. Thus, we are on the verge of entering yet another time with nothing new on the horizon. On the other hand, there was some benefit to having a time like this for the fanon portal. During the long hiatus between the two shows, many after-the-war series were created and some from 2011 were similar to those from 2008. There was less disruption to what fanon could do, so it took the time to flourish. Also, things won't be quite as dead on the canon side as they were a few years ago, since the comics and video games are going to continue to be made for a long time to come, and they weren't as much of a presence in the time before Korra.
Pseudonym: R&R: Sadistic: —see also: sparkstoaflame Love the Fanon Urban Dictionary? Miss any definitions? See the complete collection here!
Part the First: Sparkstoaflame 2) I'm fine :P Thanks for asking! Now, as this is a Halloween issue, I have to ask; what is your favourite part about Halloween? 3) So you don't go trick-or-treating? 4) I think it's interesting that the first word you think of is 'kill'. Do you think about killing people often? 5) What influences your decisions to kill your characters? 6) Do you ever cry when writing your own death scenes? You seem very emotional about everyone else's ;) 7) But you don't cry? You kill these people without a thought!? 8) Who was your favourite character to kill and why? 9) Why choose death as a way to develop their characters? 11) What is it about death, and death scenes, that are so effective? And, so emotional? And then you can take it from there, because those two questions branch out into even more questions and...well, feelings. Reaction to death is very varied, and different in every person. You never really know what to exactly expect. How devastated might someone be? How does the closeness of their relationship, whether it be friendship or enmity, affect it as well? But in the end, you can always expect some sort of reaction, because...well, if you don't react in any way, whether it be sadistic happiness or crushing sadness, to death, then what are you? To me, it just boils down to our human nature. We see the word death and it's automatically like, *tear* because we've been taught (and in some cases felt) it's a thing to mourn. But anyway, reaction is key, really. It's the...like, "blurred zone" (I don't know what to call it I'm sorry D:) in the reactions that are, what I think, make them effective. You can't expect two characters to react in the same behavior, and the unpredictable factor kind of contributes to it. (Or you can expect them to react in a very set way, but if they break that mold, well. ;p) 12) How do your own beliefs about death influence how your characters react to it? 13) What was the worst reaction you've added/thought of adding? In your opinion. In a way, I'm sort-of glad that you've ended this the way you did; not settling for the typical happily-ever-after or coming up with a mediocre ending to make it more believable. Sure it's not everyones' cup of tea, but boy you don't shy away packing those punches(feels). I feel like I just downed a tall glass of bacardi in 1 go. If in case you haven't tried bacardi (which I encourage you NOT to), it tastes like gasoline(or how I think gasoline would taste like if I ever drink one)." 14) What's your *favourite* response? (and what stories are these on?) (and aww (^^#) why my reactions?) 15) What would you say to people who want to write a death scene but don't know how? 16) Okay, what *shouldn't* people do when writing a death scene? If you want to get him out of the way, send him off on some wild goose chase or something. Just don't kill him, because a meaningless death is the worst kind of death, a.k.a. like a deus ex machina. It just strips away all the meaning, and death is all about meaning. So don't ever kill characters for the sake of killing characters. Give a legitimate reason. Does it advance the plot in any way? Does it provide as a pivotal point for major character development? (Unless you're writing crack, in which I will say, go right ahead!) 17) Oh, um. Wow. Is there anything else you want to say? So my point is, it doesn't matter how much feedback you get (...or lack thereof), just keep on trying. And then you'll get better, and more experienced and whatever with language, style, etc., etc. And everything will sprout from there. (That's all o_o) (did that even make any sense) Yes that did. Thank you for being interviewed :) np :D it was fun~ Part the Second: Minnichi 2) Okay, so, you've probably been made aware that it is Halloween, yes? So, I have to ask; what do you love most about it? 3) xD fair enough Okay, so, Halloween, though- 4) I don't believe that you don't make your deaths pointless. So, prove it. Why do you kill people? What influences your decisions? One example is Azula and traitors versus Zuko and traitors. If an author were to write for Zuko handling rebellions against him as Fire Lord, ordering death or anything terrible upon their loved ones would be considered more the author's personal want for it because for him that's out of character. One would raise an eyebrow though, if Azula was written to just let a traitor go peacefully without doing something horrible to them. Hint: My fanon has Azula :P I think the most important factor is just looking at the story's environment in context though. If you know it's the type of setting, like a war or something, in which death is quite common, then you have to consider the reality and not exempt your characters from the same risks as other casualties Overall it's just circumstances, which will always vary from fanon to fanon. It's a tough call to define when death is the most "realistic" option, but that's what I try to do. In SHiE's case, it wasn't a matter of "HAHA OH YES Yuhan is so going to hate his life it's so awesome!!!" during any death planning that motivated me to introduce those traumas to him, but more like: "In a cold, cold organization that's cruel and heartless with a leader who kills people on the spot (Jet), an agent with dangerous inside information about the city will certainly have a very crappy time trying to get out and go noble". I actually did tear up writing the first death scene. It's the only time I cry though, when I first feel it :P Afterwards the revisions make me so used to it the feels give way to the amusement of watching others cry instead...ahem... Moving on xD 5) Oh dear. When you read death scenes, do you usually cry? I will feel the emotions, but it takes a lot of them before they turn to tears. Oh, a Niagara Falls-face book for me is The Book Thief, I'll throw that out there. I got a lot of inspiration and kind of tried to figure out what it is Markus Zusak does with his descriptions that tear your heart open so easily. It naturally came down to being really good at making readers like the characters (thus, losing them is painful) and really, really capturing truly that horrifying reaction from the ones left behind. I don't think any other piece of writing has Niagara Falls-faced me like The Book Thief, to this day. 6) So, how much experience have you had killing characters? Is it something you just do for fun? The beginning one actually was less thought out initially, I was attempting my first fanfiction ever and in fact was in the "let's kill someone" mindset and justifying it with the Dai Li being cruel enough for that to be realistic anyway. It was the only time I thought death before the why. As the story progressed however I made a point to give it more meaning, and now that one death has become a much bigger influence than I'd actually planned for. The middle one was not for fun whatsoever, nor was it fun at some point to rage over the agony of not getting the feels right. It's a relief when you finally manage to pull it together correctly, that's what I'd describe it as. Death scenes are actually quite intimidating to me o_O And it's because when you remember that hey, a person is *dying* here and you have to capture the real seriousness of it all, you realize it's really REALLY hard not to sound like you're just milking the tortuous "his soul shattered into a million pieces" descriptions just for the heck of it. It's easy to write flowery, emotional descriptions of those moping over death, but difficult as hell to make your readers feel them too. Or even to make yourself feel them, as the first reader who needs to believe it. 7) Why death scenes? What makes them so powerful in a story (or so "let's not do that again")? I believe that nothing else receives such fear, dwelling, extremes, such peaks in emotions in general as those things that are influenced by death or love. What creates a lot of their power imo is also the fact that they're both things that don't tend to happen a lot. Something that is both rare and extremely emotionally respected, yet so mysterious and uncertain, is probably going to be very pivotal in a story. The moment they happen multiple times without originality is the same moment you take away that rare, once-in-a-lifetime factor. 8) What's the fallout if it's done incorrectly, do you think? And as love and death are kind of fueled and strengthened by stronger connections between people, losing that factor is, in a way, pretty much taking away what makes them powerful in the first place. Well, there's always the possibility of an author being a psychopath who doesn't feel but can understand the emotions of others, there's always that. (Hey you never know XD) Understanding how peoples' emotions work is the key in general. The story setting, characters, and setting may be as imaginative and bizarre as it gets, but I believe that at the core of every unforgettable story is still a constant element of realism: human emotions. Love and death are pretty much shortcuts to targeting them, hah. Bah, there really is no "incorrect" per se. But there is definitely the possibility of not connecting to your readers and making your death scene/love attempt appear unnatural or meaningless to them, which doesn't do well for interest since people like reading what they can connect to, so I think it's safe to leave it at that instead. 9) So, what are some helpful hints with getting people to connect, and make the readers feel the emotions the author wants them to feel? The challenge is remembering though that while the emotions stay constant, the reactions to them vary from person to person, so you'd have to consider the character you're writing for at some point and what's in line with their given personality. What I find helpful is creating a hypothetical emotional challenge and just placing each type of character you know in that situation, and thinking out how each would react so you can have a personal mental reference to behavior patterns. For things you have never experienced yourself, though, I think it's crucial to find something, somewhere, that's got it down. Either a story that's captured it, or even an account from someone in real life reflecting over their feelings about the kind of trauma you want to write. You use what you yourself know about emotions from experience, and learn to understand the ones you haven't experienced, and you're all set for any connection-building needs, I say! And actually, a simple one is just: read. Read all the most awesome novels and works of writing you can, and you'll enjoy it for their epic-ness anyway! The more ways you yourself have been the one falling for story characters, the more ways you'll also see how to go about doing it. 10) So, what do you read that helps you with your writing? I haven't had time to read as much as I used to, but I really don't think my level would be anywhere near its current without the countless stories I've read in my lifetime; In elementary school, it was hundreds without exaggerating. I believe every single book will leave an impact on you, so the more the better. It's a collective influence, I would say. So... I guess my answer is: everything. As much as I can ^^ The world of books offers a collection of the great variety of emotions, personalities, and philosophies that exist out there, so the more you've read the more you know about people, really. At some point I would also say you can pick up the select group of things you notice in every book that stands out that tie them together, no matter how else they differ. Since the books that stand out are based on your preference, that right there is what's going to make your definition of "the best writing," which is unique only to you and will ultimately create your writing style. So answer 2 for this would be, it helps me to read anything that I personally find amazing, because that will always improve and inspire me as an author. Oh, and read The Book Thief. :P 11) So, you read a lot as a kid? 12) what is the best/worst response you've ever had to killing someone? Actually - I remember your reaction too. Dangit Frui, this is a tough call xD Though short and sweet, the fact that /you/ (points to collection of emotional-torture mastery) dropped your jaw and basically went "...YOU DIDN'T. NO. D':" really stood out to me. As for the worst response... I think it's those who focus more on trying to predict what happens next rather than the death itself. Like all you hear is "I knew it would be this way!" instead of anything regarding the emotions and their impact on the reader - or really anything about connecting to the story at all ^^" This isn't to say that they didn't feel the emotions, but it does make one wonder if you wrote them poorly enough to be overshadowed by the obsession with predicting the plot. 13) What advice do you have for people who might want to write their own scene of killing a character? 2) Be in touch with both the dying character and those who are affected by the death. Know exactly how they feel to make those last seconds of life really count. The last thing you want to do is have someone pass on without an emotional trace. Even if it's a character who's indifferent to death, you should know how to elaborate that phenomenon and have a purpose for them being that way too. 3) Feel it! The feels, the feels... (and yeah that's pretty much it) 14) What shouldn't people do when writing a death scene? | ||||||||
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Halloween. Ah, halloween. The only time of year that you can dress up as your favourite Disney Princess and wander around the streets and not be judged (and not have the police called because you're scaring the neighbours). Unfortunately, I wasn't able to wander around the streets. I was sitting at my desk (well, my head was sitting on my desk. I was technically sitting at my chair), mentally counting down the moments until midnight and I could start my NaNoWriMo story, rubbing the circles under my eyes. I should have been working on my pragmatic assignment, but I couldn't work up the motivation. AvatarRokusGhost was thrumming softly on the table with his fingertips, and I would have thought he was asleep if it weren't for the movement.. We both sighed at the same time, as though our exhaustion would flow out with the breath. See, the thing was, we both liked Halloween. He was dressed up as a viking-warrior mix. He had a shotgun and surprisingly bright purple pants. I was, naturally, Elsa. I had bought a pattern for $5 earlier that month and had spent my time making the costume. We had a bucket of candy in the middle of the table, but neither of us had touched it. Neither of us really felt in the mood for it—halloween. The cobwebs in our office were real and we hadn't quite figured out how to get rid of the green lights, left over from her time Minnichi overthrew the newsletter. Also, creepy music; I think OR had left a mix tape of George Strait, the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, and rants about some politician in his home country. I don't know. It was sort of echo-y. Sort of... lonely. Blinking slowly, I lifted my head up. "Hey, ARG," I said, cocking my head. He gave a grunt in response, looking at me. "I know what this is missing." Of course, I was talking about something other than our empty in-box. Apparently, it used to be overflowing with submissions but now all it contained was a cockroach. The creature looked far too happy there, and so both of us left it. Turning back to ARG, my only response was another grunt; nevertheless, I wasn't deterred. I knew he was interested, in his own way. We were just to tired to really make it sound like we cared. "Where are the trick-or-treaters?" He frowned at me, and there was an unsettling feeling in my stomach. After all, we'd bought all this candy and we had no one to share it with. Standing up, we made our way to the front door, decorated with strategically-placed spiders webs and a fake hand, already grasping the knocker. With a scowl, ARG flicked the front light on. Suddenly, we were inundated with people. Some I recognised—Lady Lostris hadn't bothered dressing up. She did bring Kejeli out of his cage. Unfortunately, he was the less terrifying of the two as she swept down the streets in a blazing typhoon of fury. "HOW DARE YOU HAND OUT SUB-PAR CHOCOLATE?!" she cried, and in a strange display, was actually giving the people in the houses candy. I surreptitiously kicked the kit-kats and snickers into the corner as she marched past, Kejeli padding along behind her. I guess they tag-teamed with the horror, because not five houses down, he was roaring at a poor new resident who had stuck horrifyingly low-quality pictures of his Korra in his front yard whilst she took their candy. "ARG," I whispered, awestruck. "This is just what we need." My eyes swept over several people who had begun to make their way up our path while his widened in understanding. We grinned at each other. This would cure our loneliness. As soon as the trick-or-treaters knocked on our door, we flung it open. Patiently waiting out the "trick or treat"s that came our way, we smiled demurely. Well, I smiled demurely. ARG was eyeing the candy they already had—bright colours and strips and I think a couple were glowing. He was smiling hungrily. My eyes raked over the costumes. Someone had dressed up in full Kyoshi attire; it was a rather stellar effort. I just wish the dude had shaved his whiskers first. At least they had been painted white, too. Someone else had come as a mosquito, and I was suitably impressed with the level of detail he added to his costume. There was even a bit of blood hanging from his... sucker-thing. "Hey, nice costumes, guys!" I said, grinning. "Mind if I snap a picture?" The trick or treaters looked at each other, shrugging. I walked back into headquarters, beckoning them inside. ARG closed the door behind them, trying to do it silently but, you know, halloween. All the creaks and heavy-door-slamming included. Of course, they seemed sort of oblivious until we had travelled the entire length of the building and had found ourselves in the row of cells (I don't know what they were used for. I asked Minnichi once and she gave me an "ask Lostris" look and I just- nup. Not happening). "Authenticity," I said. "It's halloween, after all." ARG hadn't followed me down, so it was a bit of a struggle to lock them in. I finally managed to with help of an appropriately-placed sneeze and the flash from the camera. They weren't too happy, understandably. I found ARG in the meeting room, going through the candy bags. I was content to leave him until he began cackling maniacally and starting stringing up candy in patterns of three. "ARG!" I cried. "That isn't your candy! Stop using it to feed your Candy Crush obsession." He just gave me a look. "You just locked two trick-or-treaters in the dungeon," he told me, and I looked away. What could I say to that? I was spared the chance to stand awkwardly without a retort by another knock at the door. Now, these people I recognised, and I couldn't help but grin. "Hi, all!" I said as I opened the door. "Happy halloween!" KMP, dressed as a kettle and holding a cast-iron pot to store his candy, just looked at me. Behind him was someone dressed as a ferret—unsurprising—and a... tap? "Hey, FireFerret. Water Spout." "Fruipit," KMP grabbed my attention by using a pragmatic alerter. I got the sense he was fishing for something, but I couldn't really tell. "You should be trick-or-treating with us." I shrugged, smiling. "We're trying to get out a halloween WLS," I told him. "How's the next issue of the BSST coming?" He scowled at me. "It would come along better if you stopped fraternising with the enemy." I sighed. "Look, it's halloween. Can't we just have a truce for the day? Do you want to come in for some pumpkin pie or something." If anything, his grimace became more pronounced. "Going full American, are you? Abandoning your Australian roots? You disappoint me, Fruipit." I rolled my eyes, and looked his costume up and down. He didn't need to say anything, and with a slight grumble, pushed his way past me. It was far easier to get this lot into the cells. Water Spout was effectively helpless with his costume, and Fire Ferret had just received a notification telling her she had another follower on tumblr, and so was distracted just in time for us. Now, KMP, he was the problem. I had watched Tangled often enough to know how dangerous a frying pan—or in this case, pot—was. Eventually, ARG wrestled it from him while I took pictures. I could pretend that it was because I wanted the flash to distract KMP, but really, it just looked ridiculous with them having at each other and I wanted to keep the memories. "Now, work! Work, slaves!" ARG cried, slamming the door shut. The lock fell with an ominous click, and ARG and I brushed off our hands. "Toph shelf," I said, and we shared a fist-bump. The rest of the night progressed much like this. We were a little wary when Thailog came around, wondering if we had seen 888 or KMP because there was a coding issue with the Votes for Deletion page. ARG and I just shrugged. "If we see him, we'll let you know," I said. Our methods became a little less refined as the night progressed. The cells were filling up, and we were actually getting somewhere. There was a guy dressed like Winston Churchill, a cigar hanging from his mouth and a type of weapon in his hands. We didn't want to take any chances, so we just grabbed him and shoved him in the cell with someone dressed as Roger Ebert but carrying a book, and wielding a pen as though it were a sword. It was getting close to midnight, and we were just about to go to bed, when a final knock at the door came. ARG and I looked at each other. We really didn't have a lot of space left, but we couldn't discount the opportunity. As soon as we opened the door, we jumped them. There was a scuffle, and some rather drunken swearing. "Gosh dangit!" someone, a girl, said. I couldn't see much because there was a tassle in my face and the smell of underage drinking potent in my nose. I still recognised that voice anywhere. "Gerrof me!" "... Minn?" I asked, standing up. "Wha- what are you doing here?" She ignored me, pulling ARG off OR. "Trick or treating," she said, levelling a glare. "No one else was home." My eyes widened and met ARG's for a brief moment. The action wasn't missed by Minn or OR, and the dressed-up president stepped forward. "What did you do?" he demanded. Scary OR is scary, I though, grimacing as my stomach rolled. I turned back to ARG, but he was stuffing his face with candy was was unable to respond. Minn moved foward, pushing me out of the way. Even in the foyer, the pitiful cries of a few of the louder um.... prisoners. She rounded on me, eyes blazing. "ARE YOU INSANE?!" she shouted, rushing off towards the cells. It was kind of ironic considering I had a sneaking suspicion that she was the one who built them in the first place. "Minn! Wait!" I called after her. Unfortunately she was a marathon runner, and the only exercise I got regularly was walking from my desk to my fridge. Well, wheeling. The fridge was next to my desk. She, naturally, ignored me, and I slid to the floor in an unfit mess of tears and hyperventilation. When she returned, dozens of users in tow, I couldn't look at them. They marched past me, taking their candy in silence. Soon, only Minn and I were left. She kneeled down in front of me and I sniffled. "It just gets so lonely here sometimes," I mumbled. "After you left it was like..." I let out another sniffle and didn't finish. "Frui..." she sighed, "you can't kidnap people to work for you." I looked up at her. "We were going to promote a couple as deputies!" I argued weakly. "They'd be allowed to wander around!" She rolled her eyes. "It doesn't work like that. They have to actually want to do it. Maybe just... get the word out that you're looking for people to work for the Sentinel." "Why'd you have to go?" I asked, not looking at her. "You know why," she told me, smiling. And then she was gone, and I was alone. Again. ARG wandered up to me shortly afterward, muttering something about scary presidents and election day. I don't know what he and OR talked about, but I didn't want to, either. We both let out a breath and looked at each other. We both knew. Finding new deputies would be terrifying.
Hello, WLS readers! I speak to you today simply as an FRS reviewer presenting my submission for this issue. Kudos to our newsletter's two co-editors (and also my fellow FRS reviewers) for keeping this show going! Today I'll be rambling about the awesome work of an awesome author, namely Excelsior by Sparkstoaflame. She very much deserves this newsletter feature, and I invite you all to join me in fangirling over her authorship! This gem of a fanon is...breathtaking, to say the least. That's the first word that comes to my mind, and I'm sure it won't be the last that comes to yours once you read it! Let's see what this fan of Sparks has to say about the writing. The Scores
Overall Score: '8.79
My advice for Sparkstoaflame: Let the readers see your complete ideas every now and then and tone down on the fragments, and always be careful of your word choices. You're one heck of an author! Who should read Excelsior? Fans of Korrasami for sure, and anyone looking for inspiration to write about the grief of losing your soulmate :'(
Hey there. ARG here, ready to review Sparkstoaflame's one-shots, by Sparkstoaflame! Already well-known on here for the consistent quality and creativity in her work, she selected a tremendous variety of material in what she chose to submit for review. Following in the tradition set by Fruipit's first fanon review, I will be reviewing each one-shot individually, as well as together. These have been a blast for me to read, but I while I have my ideas down, I haven't quite finished reviewing all of them. Having two jobs and having gotten sick once or twice this season hasn't helped. I thank Sparks for her patience and having delayed her long enough, and coinciding with the WLS issue release time, I decided to divide her review into parts and release Part 1 now, which will include In Pursuit of Perfection, Breathe and Our chemicals, they react. The yet-to-be-released Part 2 will comprise of my evaluation of Answering Machine, When You Come Home and the collective scores of all five one-shots. In fact, this may be for the best, as twenty-four categories and scores is already fairly long for an article/post, let alone fourty-eight. With that said, let's dig in! Wherein Azula is a famous painter, Aang gets unwillingly dragged into all the chaos, and Zuko tries to play matchmaker but fails, horribly. Plot - 9.3: Here we have an AU story in a place very much like the real world where Azula is a talented artist who strives toward her art in the same manner in which the Azula we all know strives toward her firebending. Meanwhile, Zuko is her well-meaning sibling, Ozai is putting constant pressure on Azula to crank out more masterpieces and Aang is another art enthusiast who develops an unlikely relationship with our protagonist. This is an unfamiliar setting in more ways than one. Besides the obvious change of scenery, we never found Azula meeting Aang at the height of her craze, and Zuko wasn't on good terms with Azula at the same time, but such deviations are to be expected from AU. The pace of the plot sped up and slowed down at times, but it was in relatively careful moderation and not once did I click away from the page. Execution - 8.9: This starts out like a second person piece where the reader is being spoken "to" by the author and gradually introduced to the version of Azula in the story. Then, at one of the stylistic "breaks" that have come to characterize Sparks's writing, it morphs into a more standard present tense narrative, with the voice of the piece and the main character firmly established. Even if you're not used to this sort of change-around, it's a good transition into the greater story, where most of the turning points are handled in good progression. However, other parts didn't quite fit as much. For instance, several paragraphs later the story says "to be honest" during the narration to emphasize a point. As said before, I have nothing inherently against that, but while at the beginning it was a smooth intro, here it was more of a reminder that we're being told a story and a knock-back to reality. In the end, it's not whether a particular writing technique is good or bad, but whether it serves the story at the time it's employed. Proper Writing - 8.5: It's pretty clear that Sparks knows how to write and is pretty versed on the rules of writing. Reading through her work it's not very often that I come across a hiccup or bump in the road. Almost every writer has some slips with grammar/spelling/etc. when writing something the first time around, but it's essential to iron them out later on, such as with misplaced commas and punctuation. Commas should pretty much never come in the middle of a continuous phrase or statement. The majority of the piece was spotless though. Creativity - 9.2: Inserting familiar characters into new scenarios is pretty common, but it's another thing entirely to take it in an appropriate direction that both takes us somewhere we've never been before and fits the characters we recognize from the show in that situation so well. This one-shot is pretty creative in its own right. It has twists and turns that will knock the wind out of the reader. My reviews are of course spoiler-free, but you won't regret reading it for this. It's not the most original of ideas, as I've seen more creative ones out there, but it doesn't disappoint. Description of Action - 9.1: The statements in motion about what's going on in the story are neither the most complex nor the most simple. Rather, they have a fairly visible amount of description and these statements come alive mostly in the way that they're woven together in relation to one another. Most of the description, such as when we're getting to know Aang, was spot-on and not too much or too little. The deduction came from places where this style seemed to break and run-on sentences either stretched overly long or left the reader with a dangling uncertainty. This can be fixed through wrapping everything together a little more closely, so the piece as a whole flows well. Description of Setting - 9.7: For someone who knows absolutely nothing about the field of professional art or painting in general (in her own words), Sparks succeeded in fooling me. Her words made me feel right at home in Azula's environment. As a well-known writer's meme goes, "show, don't tell". On the other hand, there was a couple times where she told in a place that showing would have been more beneficial, such as when she described Azula as being sociopathic. Telling at the right moment and for the right purpose can be fine, but there wasn't any extra impact that came along with it, and there was no real reason to outright tell the reader when you're already so good at showing. In face, you did show it, too, but you told it first. It may sound like I'm nitpicking, but being straight-out told something so pivotal and so early in the story takes a lot of the fun away. Like I said, you're already well-versed in showing instead of telling, so essentially what I'm asking is more of what you're already doing elsewhere. Realism - 8.9: This was pretty believable, not from an "everyday" standpoint, as the characters did not all behave like normal people would ordinarily act. However, it's a fact that a lot of people are not normal, and they are just as real as their typical counterparts. Furthermore, the characters match up pretty well with their counterparts in the show, so it's not difficult to picture them standing side-by-side. The deduction of this category comes from some parts that weren't as believable, such as how Aang accepted being dragged into Azula's sphere so easily. Despite what should have been clear warning signs for him, he seemed to adapt to his new role unnaturally quickly. Character Development - 9.0: To sum it up, Azula is the star of the show. This is her story. And yes, Aang comes into the picture too, and stays in there as much as she will allow. Zuko wasn't as important later on, but with Aang we got his initial thoughts on Azula and her art and then he went to a deeper level later on. But the most fascinating character of all with the best development is of course, Azula (refer back to the execution and creativity sections.) Most of the other characters weren't really much of a presence. For instance, it would have been nice to see more of Zuko. WIthin this environment in contrast to Avatar: The Last Airbender, he was further along in maturity, and that should naturally translate into trying to be more of a positive presence in Azula's life, despite how dangerous that may be. SCORE: 9.08 Constructive Criticism: Play up your strengths, keep describing and wrapping thoughts together the way you're already doing, and double-check everything again at the end. To whom I would recommend: Anyone who wants to read a story about Avatar: The Last Airbender characters and is open to a unique take on them. By this point, my beheading will only be a mere technicality. Plot - 8.9: That first sentence on the page made me raise an eyebrow from the start, and the plot kept my attention the whole way through. Granted, this was a shorter piece, but still, mission accomplished in that regard. There was an uprising against Fire Lord Sozin during the early years of the war and they didn't do so well, as they're on the way to their beheading, one at a time. The setup is not completely original. On the other hand, it's an interesting way to catch a glimpse of who these members of the Phoenix Rebellion were, and it goes without saying that the essential tension is present. Execution - 9.5: For a story about a character approaching their own death sentence, I must say, this is well-executed indeed. Heh, executed, get it? Alright, enough of the bad puns, let's get on with the fanon review. After the setting of the story is introduced, the characters are introduced one-by-one. The announcer introduces them, we see them for a time and then their sentence is carried out. Our narrator is behind them, taking a step forth each time. The story is dark and rhythmic and that seems perfectly appropriate. The minor deduction was that some of the characters it felt like we didn't know well enough. Sure, the piece is meant to be on the surface level. The only reason I brought this smaller point up was there wasn't much else to deduct for in this category. Proper Writing - 6.9: There weren't an overwhelming amount of mistakes, but I did notice some, basically with hyphens and spaces. There was another with the form of one of the words which it felt should be "seeing" rather than "see". Since that might've been intentional and the word preference there was potentially subjective, I can overlook that one. Still, these errors stand out a little more when the story is shorter. Creativity - 8.7: This kind of story with characters slowly approaching their own death is one that has been seen before. The backstory around the beginning of the Hundred Year War and the personas of the individual characters stood out. So even through this type of story itself isn't the most creative, Sparks does a good job making it stand out with her own perspective and style. Description of Action - 8.8: The setting is where the power lies in this story as there's not a whole lot of actual action taking place. Most actions that the characters did take was described well, though. Description of Setting - 9.5: One of the best things about Sparks's writing - and this is neither the first nor the last time I bring this up while reviewing these one-shots - is that none of the words or sentences feel like they're standing alone. No words are wasted, and that is something which embodies and defines good writing. Each of the words and phrases works toward a common goal and is connected. And in Breathe, the atrocity of the Fire Lord's government and the reality of impending doom resonates throughout. Repeating familiar phrases was a nice touch for this story. There were only a few things which didn't quite add up. For instance, if this is the time of Fire Lord Sozin and Crown Prince Azulon, how does the narrator know that the war will last for exactly a century?
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