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This evaluation was conducted by a member of the Fanon Research and Review Squad. Please do not take offense in the case of negative feedback. We offer advice and want your story to succeed!
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Avatar Colosseum is truly a unique fanon on this wiki, with its combination of a 'canon-style' character analysis with an adrenaline-pumped fanon battle to conclude each round. While the first season and the bonus chapter are written exclusively by Corvus Pathoris, Season 2 reviewed here is a collaboration of many authors, some pitching in their own characters for battles or being the impartial judge of a battle's outcome. The previous review of the first chapters can be found here. |
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Story Scores Setting & Context: 6.9 On the whole, there was sufficient description for readers to envisage the characters' surroundings. The last chapter could have used a little more as it takes a few sentences before we realise that there is a forested area. And in some chapters like the Lin vs Suyin round there wasn't much description given of their arena. On the other hand, the way that characters interacted with their surroundings made the battles feel more immersive, like when Bumi threw an entire building at Toph. As mentioned in the previous review, points were not deducted from the Context section for my own personal views on who should have won, but rather whether a victory or defeat had been justified adequately. With that said, there was one round between Unavaatu and the Colossus that didn't feel completely justified. Luckily for most battles there was a good amount of justification, with details pulled out from each characters' analysis to support the winners in a clear way. The other area worth addressing in this section are the occasional incorrect statements or facts in the character analysis. Wan's section in the Avatar Royale in particular had a number of statements that weren't really true. The reason Wan stole firebending from the lion turtle wasn't because he had 'nothing left to lose' but it was because he had people he could lose to starvation that he stole it and fought back.
A lot of the characterisation in this fanon is described in the analysis. Most of the time there were meaningful insights given abut each combatant, and comparisons made that were compelling. There were further details or comparisons that could have been mentioned however, like how Kyoshi and Korra's ability to use healing would give them an advantage against the other Avatars, or how Bumi's mastery of neutral jing could negate any surprise for him from Toph's metalbending. The last thing to mention is that the tone of the battle changed drastically in most rounds. Specifically, each round bar one ended in a horrifying and gruesome way. It's only in the last chapter that we're given an explanation (the combatants are under a trance that compels them to act violently) but it would have been good to bring in more of the characters' personality and quirks to make them feel more like themselves, or at least have them try and resist the mind control when fighting their friends or family.
With all the build-up beforehand in comparing each combatant and analysing their character traits, having them go head-to-head in the ultimate showdown was certainly engaging and tense. There were also far more diverse sentence structures and beginnings, which was an improvement from the previous chapters reviewed. There still could have been more narration or inner thoughts between fast-paced sentences as this can help create tension. There were actions or moments that were quite unclear however. For example, in the Lin vs Suyin chapter there's a moment where it sounds like Lin bends rocks at herself, and also a number of unclear attacks in multiple chapters. Since these instances break the flow of the fight scene and make it harder to be immersed in, it's worth rethinking word choices or movements and making them clearer. |
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Writing Scores Spelling/Grammar: 7.4 In the previously reviewed chapters, the main issue for grammar was with tense confusion. However, in Season 2 this was done much better and more consistently, with all the chapters started in present tense. There were still lingering instances of tense confusion in most chapters though, and the Toph vs Bumi chapter seemed to revert back to past tense for most of the chapter, but on the whole this was done much better. There were several instances of figures used for numbers when fully written numbers should have been used. The most frequent mistakes in this category were with missing or incorrect punctuation or words. Words like 'psychological' should have been 'psychologically', and missing words sometimes made sentence meanings unclear when reading the first time through.
The story strikes an interesting and unique balance between the formal tone of the analysis and the fast-paced tone of the battles themselves. Each round also featured commentary from the host, Corvus Patheous himself, and multiple authors as either judges, or writing descriptions of their nominated characters. Even though each author brought their own writing style to the fanon, the tone remained consistent and worked together really well. The main issue in terms of writing were recurring clunky or confusing sentences that were a bit difficult to understand. Especially in the canon article section, using concise language is particularly important to keep readers engaged. Also, there were a couple times where sentences were very long and could have been broken up into smaller clauses or ideas. While varying sentence structure and length is a great way to maintain interest, some sentences or their meanings can become convoluted if they have too many ideas they are trying to convey at once. |
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Overall Score: 7.24 Conclusion: As I mentioned earlier, Avatar Colosseum is certainly a unique and interesting fanon here on the wiki. The topic of 'who would beat who' is one that comes up all the time in the discussion boards or Discord, and having not only the comparisons but battles as well brings these conversations to life. This fanon also engages with the community in such a clever way by including users as judges or nominating characters, sometimes from their own fanons too. The main thing I'd recommend would be to fix sentences, phrases, or actions that aren't entirely accurate or easy enough to understand when reading the first time through, as doing so will help keep readers immersed throughout the analysis and death battles. I had fun reading through this fanon, and anyone who enjoys character analysis with a slice of high-stakes action will enjoy it too. |