Hello! This is Bahjy1, doing my first review in the Fanon Review Squad !
Many of you probably won't know me well, because I'm still new here somehow. I gave a brief introduction of myself in a past blog post, and it's now time to do my first review! But before we start, I'd like to tell you, when you sign your fanon under my name in the review squad page, don't take offence if the review was bad, or average - the review is just my opinion and a friendly advice.
After reading The Adventures of Omar|Adventures of Omar]] story by Omar067 on last Saturday, Sunday and Monday, I was impressed.
When I first looked at the plot, my first thought was What a bad story, picturing yourself with the Avatar! bad idea... but when I continued reading, that was not exactly my thought... at all! As the duo started going out of the Southern Water Tribe, action became to rise slowly. Yet, Adventures of Omar is a small but enjoyable read, history of the assassin, the description of each person's feeling in each scene, and there is much suspense between a chapter and another so you can't stop reading! Anyway, I'm not giving spoilers like BlackMonkey does and writes the plot... I advice you, go read the story yourself and trust me, you will enjoy it.
Let's get to the scoring :
- Suspense : 9.7 - Something that was really good about the story, chapters were fairly short and were seperated on an action-packed moment.
- Action : 8.0 - In the few first chapters, you would give a poor rating of action, but when Korra leaves the Southern Water Tribe, almost every chapter is action-packed.
- Description : 9.8 - Something I am not really good at, while Omar067 describes everything in his story. By everything I mean everything !
- Creativity : 8.7 - Very creative. New names, new towns, new bits of history, and teleporting between worlds.
- Believability : 7.3 - Well, the new towns were creative, but none was introduced neither in A:TLA or in A:LOK related releases. Teleporting between worlds haven't been explained (how and why) as well.
- Final Touch (Spelling/Grammar/Goofs) : 7.5 - I stated before that this should be the easiest 10 points to gain, but here, it apparently isn't. Lee Shu was sometimes declared as a village, and some other times, a large town. Many spelling mistakes were noticable throughout the series. Well, such things always happen, but they would still affect the score.
Final Score : 51/60. And for those who like averages, 8.5/10 is the average score.
Why should you read Adventures of Omar ? - If you want a short, enjoyable, and a different read, you should try this. If you really want something, almost unrelated to the war, and different, you will enjoy this fanon.
Any advice for Omar067 ? - Keep on, you got a skilled editor working with you, just keep being creative and explain the strange force that teleported you to Avatar World :). Final Touch could use a bit of work.
P.S. - This review may seem similar to Millennia2's review, but trust me, it wasn't copied :)